say no to EVON

evon.... you are so not going to do tat to me tat night...
i will strip your ass off if you do tat to me ...

tat rehab song... gotta change some lyrics...
" if you try to make me wanna kiss you and i'll say NO NO NO"
so there is no way tat i am going to do tat...
tats freaky....
tat bitch... AHHHH!!
she is the pain in the ass man.....
i totally hate her adi...
no freakin way tat i am going to forgive her...
we are going single tat night!

oh.. 1 last thing...
YOU AIN'T GONNA KISS ME!!!

something...

Long time didn't post those happy things...
and sunday...
i went for a hair cut... haha....
and the stylist set a style for me...
it looks weird, but... i think is nice!
it is quite feminine,
it will really beautiful if it match with a dress...
but... haha! i don't think tat will happen...
cause you noe my style....... never....

i think my hair is too messy...
I went to Evon's house again today...
and those ice cream just can't stop looking at it..
there is baskin robbins and haagen dazs.....
I am dying for ice cream!
what are u looking at?!Ahhhh.... help~~

my brother is scared of evon!

my brother next to evon! evon adores him alot...
but my brother is scared of evon!!!

1 word......... Ying!

This is Ady, known as Ying, known as my best friend and also known as my Bitch...
if you guys out there think tat she is crazy, i got to say, YES! SHE IS CRAZY!!!!!! LOL!!
YING, THIS IS FOR YOU!

ahhhhh, so pist~

oh my god,
seriously, i wasn't juz upset about today,
i was so pist about today...
what the hell...
do you noe how pist i was today?!!!!!!
101% angry about everything tat happen...
karyn didn't go....
nih gave back the same thing tat i rejected...
chun and leow asked me whats going on again and again...
we reach sunway at 10.30 and straight on went for snooker...
play play play, she gave me back tat thing which i really don't want to accept it!
the worst thing nih did tat,
she gave the thing to chun in front of me and want me to take it!
i was so fucking pist!
end up we didn't settle anything!
i was waiting for this opportunity for so long....
*************
since karyn wasn't there...
i have no mood to do anything,
'' I am not angry about u, karyn''
we went to redbox again to sing,
i was sitting there for 1 and a half hours in silences!
when i looked at the cup of beer,
it makes me remember what happen at 25th of august!
and the worst thing is tat they gave us the same room tat we use on the 25th!
everything was like '' the same''
i can't even look at nih... it just will make my temper rise above the sky!
pist pist pist....
i really can't think of any word besides of the word called ''pist''
thank god tat kyi came,
if not i don't think i will talk for the day...
wat a life! i hate my life...
i took pics with kyi and she also don't noe why tat i wanted desperately.......
i wont tell why too if she asked!
just want to keep it as a memory!
i have no choice to accept the ''thing'' tat nih gave...
when she left, i went to karyn's house and pass it to her...
she also did not wanted to take it, cause it was the second time tat she gave it to me!
maybe u think tat i am a '' not nice'' person...
but sorry, i am who i am...
i can't accept something from some one tat betray on me!
maybe u can,
but for me, HELL NO!
this is me, and i rule my life...
u can't change me the way i am....
~16 sept, last outing~

what the hell.......

i hate her, i hate her and i hate her...
what the hell is wrong with her,
omg!
what is the use of blog?
a blog is a place tat u can express yourself,
not to follow other people's story...
this make me pist....
there is this fella... i don't think i noe her...
she followed my post almost from head to toe...
is not really following, but she is like copying everything tat i been through...
i don't really believe tat it will happen the same thing, the same time and the same date...
impossible...
there is no such thing...
what i want to say is tat,
if u want to have a blog,
write something tat u actually facing,
not following other's post...
*************************
about karyn and the gang...
i got to say tat she is really mad about nih...
chun called me yesterday,
and they say wanna go out to redbox again,
and this time, nih will be going too...
what the hell...
we got to go, cause we got to settle somethings,
and the worst thing is,
karyn, t'rani, and kyi are going out to the same place and the same date,
hah!!! another problem...
because of nih saying tat she wasn't able to go out anymore,
so they planed without her involved!
so now...
i also don't noe what the hell is the latest plan...
we are actually planning something big for an once and for all thing.

appreciate!

while i was reading karyn's blog,
i realized tat 1 of her post was actually telling me something,
is about how to get me relieve myself from those things tat happen lately,
she said a lot tat really made me change my mind a bit, just a bit.
and the most interesting thing is tat, she noe whats my answer...
cool huh?!
''we should learn to live better n not to destroy ourselves.. ''
this verse i am 100% tat she was talking about me!
''wat leads u unhappy..then put it down..u're born to enjoy life..to rule who u r..

n not to live for others.. not to settle anything..

settling is good..but i always feels tat..sometimes..something dun need to settle..''
me again....wat can i say, she can read my mind!
well... i am totally speechless by she reading my mind....

****************
Sunday, something happen to me, and i only told her...
she was quite happy about what i 'did'...
she even laugh at me when i told her!
she says tat she was waiting for this moment for sometime,
and i guess i really made her dreams came true...
i got to say tat she did wake me up... thank you...
but... i think i am really need help now,

*****************
i did mention in my latest post, i couldn't get any sleeps this few weeks.
and my teacher came to me this morning and asked me,
whether i was getting any sleep lately,
cause she said tat she could see tat i was not really looking good in class..
haizzzz.....
even a teacher can see through my face,
i guess i can't hide anything from anyone now...
she even asked me to seek for a doctor...
AM I GOING TO DIE LIKE TAT! OMG!!!
''pressure pressure come faster'',
yes, i believe it now.

I think tat i need help... but

who is gonna help me?
exam is coming, everyone is getting ready for the finals.
parents... i don't think they can help...
who who who???
ahhhhh.....
believe me, if i continue like tat, i might really die soon....
''pressure'' tats what i hate the most now........
give me a sign god! give me a way to solve everything once and for all...

Me... lately

Woke up today,( I which i only manage to sleep.......... for 15 minutes......), made myself a cup of coffee, my day started like tat, and i felt i need to blog..........

Saw karyn yesterday, guess she was a bit disappointed when she saw me, i went to her door, just to give her 10 bucks, then i left... great huh! I also don't noe what happen to me. there was just no words out of my mouth...

When i was home, i notice tat i actually got to talk to her, and i felt bad tat i was so cool in her house, so i decided to sms her to asked her whether tat she would want to stop by my house later yesterday night. she came at 8 then we talked... i really wanted to tell her something important, but i forgot what to say.

I felt bad deep down in my heart. i guess tat i should have apologize about yesterday and those days after your b'day!I always feel tired, maybe tats because of i didn't really get good night sleeps lately...and its getting worst, cause i really couldn't sleep this pass 2 weeks. i would just be on my bed with my eyes open every night. scary?! headache conquer... haiz!

Karyn always say that i think too much. yes... i think i am! there are too many things to think for me, if i don't think for a day, i still need to think the same thing the next day. so karyn, if u are reading this, i hope tat u don't blame yourself because of this... as i always says, ''I take friendship seriously'' tats why i felt the same as 27 june...

Like u always said ''if u continue like tat, u really gonna breakdown anytime...'', maybe i'm really getting mad! i just can't control myself from thinking, i was thinking all these while, if we never met each other, would it be better for all of us? maybe you will just be you, i will just be me, nih will just be nih, kyi will just be kyi, chun will just be chun, qin will just be qin.... and nothing will ever happen.... i never blame you but i did blame it on nih...

If she never had did such thing to me, we would have stayed as friends.

The present

last week, my gals got me a present while i wasn't in skull, and the present was a huge S.H.E poster... (my gals do noe tat i'm a S.H.E freak) I was so happy to receive such a beautiful poster y my beautiful gals.

Story starts...

BLOODY FUCKER, suddenly there is a spot check, Fucks! actually it was just a normal spot check! after everything was checked. that bloody amanda came a juz took my poster from my bag without asking! And she just pulled to tape away to open the poster, then she pass it to teacher! I was so angry that i was (!@#$%^&*) like tat u noe?!!!! teacher took away my poster and she kept it in her room. Evon and Ady was there to wait for me, evon even talked to the teacher!

My gals where angry about tat bitch too, so at recess time, we saw da bitch pass by and we purposely talk about my poster thing, we were like...

Ady:" hey Jen, someone took your poster this morning?"
Me:" ya, some stupid prefect took it away!"
Ady:"Izzit? who the hell took it away?"
Me:" She was like just a AJK block!"
Evon:" those stupid prefects are so damn useless, I thought tat she cant check us, cause she is just AJK block?!"

then, she went back to her class. wat the hell is wrong with her? play fair and square la, Future President!

Haha, but she didnt noe something, me and my gals went to see the teacher and she gave us back! *AMANDA, SHE GAVE ME BACK!"

finally, Thanks gals for the postarrrrrrrrrrr.....

Life

No one is perfect, no one is holy. I don't want to live today and suffering the next day, suffering everyday is a hard thing! if the problem continues and you don't settle it, it will continue until you end it yourself!

If you did it, then face it! don't do things and then say you didn't do it! Common man, just tell the truth

Who am i suppose to blame? Me? you? her? him? everyone? you noe me, my character, what is important to me, why are you making my life worst, "we are just friends, nothing is going on!" is that all you can say?! I heard 2 kinda story from 2 different people, which story should I believe?

I am so stress, helpless, "headache!" I really want to settle things once and for all, no more hiding around games anymore!

I dont want to act happy in front of my friends even though i am not... I want to be myself! i tried to be alone, not to talk to anyone, not to receive any sms, but then... I am just making other people worried about me! I just hate my life...